Domestic Violence
If you are experiencing domestic violence, don't suffer in silence.
For information, advice, support or emergency refuge accommodation, you can call the national 24-hour Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (Language Line available for non-English speaking callers), or call 999 in an emergency.
Refuges are for women and children escaping violence, they provide support and a place of safety. They are run by women, for women and their locations are kept secret to offer maximum security and safety. If you need to find a refuge, phone the above number.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is a general term that describes a range of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or who have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender.
Domestic violence is part of the wider violence against women and girls (VAWG) agenda, which includes, among other things, forced marriage, honour based violence and female genital mutilation. The Government defines VAWAG as ‘Violence that is directed against a woman because she is a woman, or that affects women disproportionally’.
An adult is defined as any person aged 18 years or over. Family members are defined as mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister, and grandparents, whether directly related, in laws or stepfamily.
Anyone can experience domestic violence. It happens to women and men of all classes, ages, races, sexualities and religions.
Barnet Police receive over 3,000 domestic violence reports every year–you are not alone.
What can I do?
If you are in an abusive relationship there are three steps you can take:
- recognise this is happening to you
- accept that you are not to blame
- seek help and support by calling 0808 2000 247 or contacting an organisation shown on the useful contacts page.
You cannot change your abuser’s behaviour. Ignoring violence is dangerous as it rarely happens only once and it usually gets worse over time.
Whatever choices you’re making about your relationship, have a safety plan just in case you have to leave home in a hurry.
Living with domestic violence affects children in many harmful ways. You and your children’s safety is always the most important priority.
Keeping safe if you are still living with the abuser
- tell someone you trust about the abuse
- be ready to call 999 if you or your children are in danger
- always keep a phone charged and close to you
- find out about your legal and housing rights by talking to a helpline, or seeing a solicitor
- keep copies of your and your children’s important papers in a safe place and have them readily available to take with you should you decide to leave. These include passports, visas and work permits, marriage and birth certificates, prescriptions, national insurance number, court orders, driving licence, bank and building society accounts, housing tenure, mortgage details, lease and rental agreements and insurance documents
- make and always carry with you, a list of numbers for an emergency. Include friends, relatives, your children’s school, your solicitor, your social worker, local police, domestic violence help lines and agencies
- make calls from a phone box or from a friend’s or neighbour’s house
- report any injuries to your GP, health visitor or another professional, so there is a record of the abuse
- talk to family and friends about staying with them in an emergency
- think about escape routes. Rehearse your escape plan and make sure both you and your children can get away safely in an emergency
- try to save and hide some money for bus, train or cab fares
- have an extra set of keys for house, flat and car
- keep the keys, money and a set of clothes for you and the children packed, ready in a bag and leave it with a friend you can trust
- think about any medicine you or your children might need, national health cards, and cards for payment of Child Benefit and welfare benefits and your address book.
If you do leave, you can always arrange for the protection of a police escort to return home to collect personal belongings.
Domestic violence is a crime. In an emergency, always dial 999
The police should help and support you by:
- removing the risk of further violence - ideally by removing the perpetrator and arresting him if there are grounds to do so
- arranging first aid
- always giving you the opportunity of being listened to and spoken to separately, away from your abuser
- helping you to access other agencies (for example, Victim Support (external site).
The police will provide you with an interpreter if you need one. They should never ask your children or other family members to interpret in cases of domestic violence.
You can also get protection under the civil law. This can include an ‘injunction’ or court order for your abuser to stay away from you and your children. Orders can also enforce your housing rights. You are likely to need a solicitor for these procedures. Depending on your income, you may be entitled to legal aid to help pay for this.
In an emergency, temporary accommodation is available through Barnet Homeseekers or you can go to a refuge (a secret safe house for women and children escaping domestic violence).
If you want to stay in your home, the Barnet Sanctuary Scheme can help with making your house more secure.I
I am a practitioner who is dealing with a domestic violence high risk case, what should I do?
You should consider making a referral to the Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC) which helps to ensure that high risk victims are supported and better protected from further abuse by a coordinated effort from all agencies and organisations.
Email this pageLast modified by: Jayne Longstaff on 14/11/2011